Cancer as a Shamanic Journey: Conversations with Carol Hiltner
Art and Writing Created by Carol Hiltner, Edited by Miku Lenentine
A shaman is one who journeys through dimensions to retrieve shards of soul that have been shattered by trauma. After a lifetime of walking a highly disciplined, self-directed spiritual path, I have, from one day to the next, found myself dependent on others for literally my day-to-day survival. And I have been awed and humbled by the amount and quality of love and support that have been forthcoming.
“Birth is, in a way,
like dying because we forget our
infinite knowingness.”
My journey into conscious spiritual life began 35 years ago with the words from a dream, “What of the day when work and play are met, and play ensues?” Did that mean that love carries no implicit obligation? Something to ponder. But words are not the pathway and I didn’t get the message. This dream was followed a decade later by another dream that told me, “Once you free yourself of unreasonable hopes and expectations, the possibilities are unlimited.” I found this dream and message to be profound, but what did it mean?
Five years later, in 1998, the Light Beings were not so subtle.
They came into my home and invited me to the Altai Mountains of Siberia, where, to my surprise, they are seen, recognized, and revered.
This was my invitation to trek in the sacred Altai Mountains.
At the time, they told me that I was to open a portal and “translate” Tablets of Light, which, it turns out, are Akashic Records. That is to say, a record of every being, thought, word, experience in all time, past, present and future. I see them in different forms, but always as an infinite library.
“Every molecule in our universe
must accept that we are loved unconditionally.”
These were clearly my marching orders. They shaped the next twenty years of my life into a glorious adventure that challenged every bit of me physically and spiritually, all in the setting of Mount Belukha, the sacred mountain.
The Light Beings asked me to chronical my experience and gave me four book titles: Tablets of Light, Out of Time, Off the Map, and Home Again. Since then, I have written and published the first three books. But fate was on a tight schedule. Last August 25th, I finished uploading the last of the three books for publication, just two days before a malignant brain tumor paralyzed my left side.
When doctors told me, 8 months ago, that I had 6 months to live, I realized the theme of the fourth book would be Brain Cancer as a Shamanic Journey. Although I have recovered my ability to walk since August, I am basically kept functioning with drugs, herbs, miracles, and love.
Two things stand out on my shamanic journey: 1) The depth of love that surrounds me is truly humbling. 2) Even when walking in the physical realms, we are multi-dimensional and interconnected beings, throughout eternity.
“The lesson for me now is to let go of
deep grief and live in deep joy.”
I know I will heal, but only when I comprehend, at a soul level, the meaning of my prophetic dreams, and retrieve the shards of my own soul and others’.
Birth is, in a way, like dying because we forget our infinite knowingness. Death is coming home to eternal ourselves. As a shaman, my journey is to invoke deep joy to release the grief that has shattered us and that we all carry karmically.
The lesson for me now is to let go of deep grief and live in deep joy.
Every molecule in our universe must accept that we are loved unconditionally.
Deep joy is my birthright.
It is all of our birthright.
